Nami's Captain
by RebelzHeart
Summary: She felt so fake, but nobody ever noticed. Until Luffy came along. Oneshot


It was a terrifying moment when Nami found that every time that she was in pain, her smile grew louder and her words grew bolder.

Every time that she began to feel her heart break, the edges of her lips turned upwards and her mouth began to move rapidly.

She acted so natural, so bold and awkward, and laughed so much, that it scared her.

 _This isn't me!_ She wanted to scream. _I'm not this person! I don't just talk like this! I don't care about that stuff! I want to just listen… listen to someone, and have someone who can listen to_ me _, not just when I'm talking… when I'm baring my soul to them._

But she couldn't. Because she was a liar, she was a thief, and she was trapped.

And even though she was surrounded by people she was so, _so alone_.

Even after joining the Straw Hats, Nami kept a fake smile. Put up a fake personality. Sure, she hit Luffy, got irritated with Usopp, accepted Sanji's treats with an uncaring air, and blackmailed Zoro, but… even though it was so natural, it felt exhausting, like she was just putting on a mask every second.

And those terrifying, end-of-the-rope times when she just gave in, and acted a little more quiet, a little more sad—it seemed that nobody noticed.

Those days, she would smile and laugh more, talk more with them… hoping so badly that they would just _notice_ …

 _Please, don't leave me alone…_

But it never seemed to work.

Until the day right after they entered the Grand Line that Luffy purposely sought her out and smiled like the stupid idiot that he was and cheerily said, "Now Nami can smile and be really happy, because she can achieve her dream, right?"

Nami's eyes welled up with tears. "Yeah." She choked out. _He had noticed._ Sure, he had drawn the wrong conclusion, but… still.

She ignored the heavy _thud_ in her heart that whispered, _It's not enough. You're still just a hollow shell with nobody who cares enough to notice your pain._

Because, really… it was good enough.

Or at least, that was what she told herself until a few days later when Luffy started getting moody and irritable.

Finally fed up with him getting mad, and acting pouty, she ordered him to stop.

Luffy scowled at her, and icily replied, "Nami's never going to be truly happy though, so what's the point?"

Nami's heart froze at that. "What…?"

Luffy buried his face in his arms. "I tried _everything_." He moaned. "I took you with me, helped you to achieve your dreams, I told you that you were my precious nakama, and _still_ it wasn't good enough! So that must mean that I'm not good enough… that even though I'm right here, you feel scared and alone. And that means that I'm not good enough for you—and that I'm a failure of nakama."

Nami's throat tightened. "No, Luffy, that's not…"

"It _is_." Luffy cut in as his head snapped up and he scowled pensively at her. "You're always sad, and just pretending to smile, and you're lonely but pretending you're not, and you're taking care of us, but _never let us take care of you_ , and you're hurting, and pretending you're not, and that's… that's…"

He shook his head again, all traces of a smile gone.

"Why am I not good enough?" He whispered.

 _He gets me_.

Nami stood up and stepped over to Luffy and hesitated only for a moment before pressing her hand on top of his. "You're good enough." She replied firmly, for the first time _finally_ feeling a real smile on her lips. "You're more than good enough. Thank you, Luffy."

"Am I good enough?" Luffy asked quietly.

"Yes." Nami replied, finally understanding that Luffy _did_ notice—he just didn't know how to comfort her. "You are."

As a wide smile bloomed on Luffy's features, Nami couldn't help but think, _He's real._

 _I'm not fake anymore._

She wasn't scared of smiling anymore.

 **A/N:** This was awful. OOCness all around, and stuff… but I think I wrote this more for people who felt like Nami than actual fanfiction, so if I got my point across, or you feel like a Nami without your Luffy, then that would be all I could ever ask for (since a lot of times you guys are my Luffy). **Sorry that it was so bad** though…


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